Taylor Lawrenson

We are having a B-E-A-UTIFUL day here in San Diego, California, the racers are lining up and getting ready for the first stage of the Steel Ball Run! Some of these folks have caught the audience’s eye, treating the Steel Ball Run like it’s a fashion competition! Good god, what fabulous apparel! What’s really caught my eye is their horses! Mustangs, thoroughbreds, and is that a camel? Oh my! Let’s take a closer look at some of these incredible stallions!

That’s Valkyrie

being ridden by the mysterious Gyro Zeppeli. Where did he come from? Why did he join the Steel Ball Run? Why is his name so familiar? Who cares! Valkyrie is a stock horse, a horse that was bred to work with livestock. A true Cowboys pick! Not a typical choice for a race however! Then again, the Steel Ball Run is not a typical race! Some stages will rely on stamina over speed, something that stock horses excel at! This first stage is a sprint so Gyro and Valkyrie won’t be winning with conventional running! Oh look! That star! Is that…

Silver Bullet?

It is! Silver Bullet and their rider, the esteemed Diego Brando! After making a splash in England, they’ve come to America for the Steel Ball Run! Silver Bullet is an Arab Thoroughbred, a tried and true all-rounder racing horse. What makes Silver Bullet special is their experience. Diego Brando and Silver Bullet have been racing in England for years and the pair race as if they are one! Performing complex maneuvers is no sweat for this duo. Many have already chalked this pair up as the winners of the Steel Ball Run! I say, keep your eyes peeled! There are thousands of participants with each their own strategies for victory! A race like the Steel Ball Run has never–

  What is that? It is, its-

Slow Dancer!

The once-great jockey Johnny Joestar is being dragged through the dirt by Slow Dancer! Back in the stables, this appaloosa was tossing riders this way and that! Seems that in the end nobody was able to tame this beast! What spirit! What a beautiful spotted coat! I was hoping to see this old stallion compete, their temperament would surely be a spectacle to fans worldwide. Though they’re old, they clearly aren’t lacking stamina! Bucking and throwing riders all day and night. If Johnny could have tamed this stallion, they would have a real good shot of winning this whole shebang. 

And Off They Go!

The race is starting! Johnny has miraculously swung himself onto Slow Dancer! They’re off! Thousands of riders and stallions riding off across America! A late arrival has set off with Hey! Ya! That’s a horse with instinct! What a spectacle! Good luck to all! Thank you for purchasing this paper folks! We’ll do our best to keep you informed as this great horse spectacle continues! 

Also read Emma’s article on why Audiobooks Are An Elite Form Of Reading! (What are audiobooks anyways? Read to find out!)